


Dark Room//Love Balloon

by olavidalo



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Ableism, Epistolary, F/M, Homophobia, M/M, Microaggression, Racism, Sexism, Verbal Abuse, implied drug and alcohol usage, mild kink-shaming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-25 17:44:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/641381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/olavidalo/pseuds/olavidalo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn's a hugely successful R&B star; Harry's a pop singer with a legion of tween fans. They don't really get on. (Based off a prompt.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dark Room//Love Balloon

**Author's Note:**

> So, a bit more involved commentary this time around: 
> 
> (1) This stuff never happened, obviously. Occasionally, however, I have used tweets, articles, shows, TV personalities, or events from real life and modified them to fit this artificial timeline. If you see a (*), except where it is elsewhere immediately obvious, that means it exists in real life somewhere; the (*) signifies that the tweet/article/artist/etc is not a product of my fevered imagination. I do not claim authorship or ownership of anything starred.  
> (2) I rounded Zayn and Harry's ages up. So at the start of the story, Zayn's just turned 18 and Harry's just turned 17.  
> (3) I starred out the racist/Islamaphobic slurs.  
> (4) Unbeta'ed, unbritpicked.  
> (5) WIP Amnesty? aha  
> (6) I should've thought it would be obvious but: **don't put this on Twitter.**  
>  (7) Everytime I edit even the slightest mistake, the formatting goes haywire. My fault for doing this on Notepad, I guess. Anyway I'm sorry everything's inconsistent.

 

 

 

#### Track One. 'No Good Deed'

 

 

 

HIROSHI: In the past three years alone, you've put out three mixtapes, four EPs--  
ZAYN: Yeah, yeah.  
HIROSHI: And now--  
ZAYN: _Dark Room_ 's getting released next week, yeah.  
HIROSHI: That's pretty exciting, yeah?  
ZAYN: It is, it is. We all worked really hard on this one. And, again, Musiq(*) is like--phenomenal. Really, just, a total genius, I was very lucky to work with him.  
HIROSHI: You know, you've really come far since we last spoke. This time two years ago, you told me--you told me you had to choose between paying your rent or paying for the distribution of your EP. Which one was that for, _In Hospitals_ or--  
ZAYN: _Istikharah_ , that was for _Istikharah_ , yeah. That was [pause]. That was a rough stretch. I barely ate, lost my job. My landlord kicked me out.  
HIROSHI: Oh, so you ended up choosing your EP.  
ZAYN: Yeah.  
HIROSHI: And you didn't have anywhere to stay?  
ZAYN: Yeahhh, well, I crashed at friends' flats when I could, but. You know, they had their own lives. I had to sleep in my car for a bit. Drove my mum mad. She couldn't understand why I wouldn't just come home.  
HIROSHI: She must be proud of you now, though.  
ZAYN: Yeah, she's always been extremely supportive.  
HIROSHI: That's great, that's really good. Right, one last question before you go: do you've any advice for any of the people coming up in the game? Like, Soso Rossi, Blue Naven, Kenya Trot, any of them?  
ZAYN: Uh. [laughs] I've kinda been locked in the studio for like the past five months? So I haven't paid much attention to like, TV and stuff. No, wait, there's that--who's that kid that just won X Factor?  
HIROSHI: Oh, Harry? Harry Styles?  
ZAYN: Ehh, it's Gary, innit?  
HIROSHI: Ahhhh--  
ZAYN: Gary's real talented, yeah, I'd look out for him. I think he's going to be brilliant.

\- 19 February 2010, Cool DJ Soul Interview, 10:03 PM

 

 

#WhoisGaryStyles#WhoisGaryStyles#WhoisGaryStyles#WhoisGaryStyles

 

 

HARRY: Wayne Malik? Who's that? [laughs]  
\- 3 March 2010, BBC Radio 2 Interview, Maureen in the Morning, 7:13 AM

 

 

 

#### Track Two. 'And Down We Go' ft. Corinne Bailey Rae

 

 

 

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish Call me when ur balls drop, mate :)  
3 March 2010, 7:42 PM

@HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek Ummm not interested, thanks :)  
3 March 2010, 7:44 PM

 

 

#ZaynYouHaveMyAttention#ZaynYouHaveMyAttention#ZaynYouHaveMyAttention#ZaynYouHaveMyAttention

 

 

TASHA: So you're saying marketing is more important than music these days?  
ZAYN: Yea, yea, I think--I think, if you have enough money, you can make anything sound like a good idea.  
TASHA: You sound like you're talking about someone specific here.  
ZAYN: [laughs] Yea, maybe.  
TASHA: Heard you had a bit of a blowout with Harry Styles the other day on Twitter. #TrialsforStyles and #DontBlameZayn were trending.  
ZAYN: Yea, yea.  
TASHA: And what do you think about him?  
ZAYN: I think...I think he's got a lot of potential.  
TASHA: Oh, come on! That's a safe answer, that's [?]  
ZAYN: [laughs] This a trap?  
TASHA: --that's not a real answer. Come on, give us something to work with.  
ZAYN: Alright, I think-- no disrespect, I just don't think he sings the right kind of music. He's got this slow voice, why they got him singing, like, fuck me, "love is like a big balloon"?  
TASHA: [laughs]  
ZAYN: Like, what is that about? He's 16, not--not, like, 8. You get me? [laughs]  
TASHA: Isn't he 17?  
ZAYN: [?]  
TASHA: [laughs] So, what you're saying is [?]  
ZAYN: He's got a major voice. But his music isn't very good! [laughs]

\- Transcript Excerpt, vibingradio.fm, Published 13 March 2010

 

 

 

#### Track Three. 'Don't'

 

 

 

HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek @Pitchfork "DARK ROOM is a disjointed and overproduced nightmare" :0 oops...  
15 March 2010, 3.26 PM

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
15 March 2010, 3.28 PM

DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT TKAE THE BATE

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish f u  
15 March 2010, 3.30 PM

@HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek Not even if you begged :)  
15 March 2010, 3.34 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish no youd like that too much, wouldnt you? @grimmers...  
15 March 2010, 3.34 PM

@HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek You're creepy ewww  
15 March 2010, 3.35 PM

@ZayntheLeek: wow? so many kids are yeling at me lol....  
15 March 2010, 3.38 PM

@anne42cox(*): @ZayntheLeek youre nothing more than a bully  
15 March 2010, 3.40 PM

@StylrPrince93: @HarryStylish u wanr me to #PickofftheP***? ;) he talks 2 much  
15 March 2010, 4.00 PM

@HarryStylish: @StylrPrince93 No ....  
15 March 2010, 4.01 PM

@ZayntheLeek: RT "@maddiesohappy #peoplethatarelessracistthanstylers literally everyone else" lol love u guys sm xx :) :)  
15 March 2010, 4.15 PM

@maddiesohappy: OMGOMGOMGOMGOGM @ZayntheLeek RETWEETED ME!!!!!!!!! SUCK ON THAT BITCHES HE"S MINE!!!!!!!!!!  
15 March 2010, 4.15 PM

 

 

#PickofftheP***#PeopleThatAreLessRacistThanStylers#PickofftheP***#PeopleThatAreLessRacistThanStylers

 

 

@MailOnline: @ZayntheLeek An Internet Bully? 14 year old Jasmine Plunk, a self-proclaimed "Styler", was "absolutely gutted" when... bit.ly/10ShF9G  
16 March 2010, 7.36 AM

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
16 March 2010, 7.25 PM

Right there is now an EMBARGO on Harry Styles. His fans may be racist little shits but they are PERSISTANT. You do not want to go there. Do not even THINK about mentioning his name or we'll scrap all of your songs and send them over to Estelle. I'm NOT kidding.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

@ZayntheLeek: Radio has really gone "Down The Hill" lately xx :)  
20 March 2010, 9.11 AM

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
20 March 2010, 9.20 AM

Zayn you're VERY clever. Scrapping "Restless." Hope you don't mind!!

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

@HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek Hasn't it, though?...dailymail.co.uk/?article8h07557jg=Zayn+Malik+voted+most+overplayed+on+radio  
20 March 2010, 9.37 AM

 

 

#ThingsILoveAboutPrinceHarry#ThingsILoveAboutPrinceHarry#ThingsILoveAboutPrinceHarry#ThingsILoveAboutPrinceHarry

 

 

@HarryStylish: Ran into @UsherRaymondIV in downtown London! Coollll #livinglegend  
3 November 2010, 9.46 PM

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
3 November 2010, 9.50 PM

Let me remind you: ESTELLE.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
3 November 2010, 9.57 PM

mark do u follow him on twitter or somethn, i wouldnt have evn known if u hadnt sd ott

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
3 November 2010, 9.58 PM

ESTELLE.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

@ZayntheLeek: man i h ate geeks.. #unfair  
3 November 2010, 10.00 PM

@zDannyRiachz: @ZayntheLeek bro?  
3 November 2010, 10.02 PM

@HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek #geekandproud(*)  
3 November 2010, 10.03 PM

@Markymarkdn: @EstelleDarlings hey love, how've you been? @ZayntheLeek and I were just talking about you  
3 November 2010, 10.03 PM

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
3 November 2010, 10.04 PM

ur not funny

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 

 

#Geekandproud#Geekandproud#Geekandproud#Geekandproud

 

 

Julie Snyder (*): Et qu'est-ce que vous fais pendant votre temps libre?  
Harry Styles: ...Er, j-j'aime écouter de la musique.  
Julie Snyder: Ah, ah, et quel genre?  
Harry Styles: ...Um, anything, really. J'aime Coldplay, Stevie Wonder, Elvis Presley, you know.  
Julie Snyder: Et Zayn Malik? Vous écoutez a Zayn Malik? [laughs]  
Harry Styles: ...Zayn Malik? Oh, no. Non. [laughs] Je suis--je suis...how d'you say...je suis...not much of a fan. [laughs]

\- Salut, Bonjour!(*), Transcript Excerpt, Episode B1A4, Segment GG: "L'interview de Harry Styles avec Julie Snyder," 15 November 2010.

 

 

#MarryMeZayn#JeSuisNotAFan#MarryMeZayn#JeSuisNotAFan

 

 

MAUREEN: And your album's been breaking several records, hasn't it?  
ZAYN: Yeah, yeah, it has.  
MAUREEN: For those of you who don't know, Zayn Malik's debut album _Dark Room_ sold 520,000 copies in its first month. It's currently sold--875,000 units, has it?  
ZAYN: Ehhh, thereabouts, yeah.  
MAUREEN: [laughs] Well, thereabouts or there exactly, that's rather impressive, 'specially for an R &B album produced domestically. Not to say--Blue Naven is of course doing excellent. Sold out tours, number 1s and the like.  
ZAYN: Yea, yea, of course. She's brilliant.  
MAUREEN: But usually it's the Beyonces and the, the Rihannas across the pond that do well here. Not so much--  
ZAYN: Well, Rihanna's not really R&B. Or from America. [laughs]  
MAUREEN: Well, still, you know what I mean. We don't exactly have a Justin Timberlake, now do we? [laughs]  
ZAYN: Nor an Usher, yeah. So I realise it is--unusual that I've gotten as far as I have. 'Specially with the--you know, where I'm from--my background and all that.  
MAUREEN: I hear people give you a hard time? On account of your being a Muslim.  
ZAYN: Um, yeah.  
MAUREEN: Sometimes even your fans have said some of these things to you, that right?  
ZAYN: Mmmm, well, I don't--it depends, really. You can't always tell who means it and who just doesn't know. This one woman stopped me in the street and said, 'Oh, I love your album, play it all the time. Shame about you being Muslim, though.'  
MAUREEN: What did you say?  
ZAYN: I don't know, I probably said thank you? What can you even say to that? [laughs] She bought the album, she just hated that I'd made it.  
MAUREEN: [unintelligible]  
ZAYN: I mean, you don't have to be a fan to buy my music. But the only reason I've made it as far as I have is because of the fans. Their support and their love helped make this album. And, you know, they're the ones buying it, of course. [laughs] But really, thank you, thank you, thank you to all my fans out there listening. I couldn't do it without you, serious.  
MAUREEN: Aw, it's good to be grateful.  
ZAYN: It is.  
MAUREEN: Sometimes stars--  
ZAYN: [at the same time] Although--  
MAUREEN: Sorry, go on.  
ZAYN: No, no, you were speaking first, go 'head.  
MAUREEN: So polite! You're making me blush.  
ZAYN: It's a good look on you, Maureen.  
MAUREEN: _Zayn._  
ZAYN: [laughs] Sorry, sorry, I promised I wouldn't be [unintelligible].  
MAUREEN: [laughs] [unintelligible] forget where they come from. You know, start looking down on people.  
ZAYN: I think that's always a, a catalyst for total disorientation. Like, once you start believing the hype, you can't even use music right any more. It's supposed to be about making connections, yeah? And so, that's where--that's when you've cut yourself off. Right at the beginning like, there's no connection there.  
MAUREEN: Wow, ve-ry well-said. Now speaking of connections, rumour has it that you and Estelle are going to be working together.  
ZAYN: Ahh, no. No, that's just a rumour.  
MAUREEN: She just put out that single "Restless" last month, it's been getting a fair bit of play.  
ZAYN: 's a solid song, yeah.  
MAUREEN: But you don't see the two of you collaborating in the future.  
ZAYN: Ah, well, I wouldn't put it like that, necessarily. I'd love to work with Estelle, I think she's hugely talented. Right now, it's just--I think--we're both a little bit busy? But, yeah, I'd definitely be open to collabbing with her.  
MAUREEN: You were pretty busy last night.  
ZAYN: [coughs]  
MAUREEN: I saw the videos of--  
ZAYN: Oh, you're talking about--[laughs]  
MAUREEN: You thought I meant-- _Zayn_ , this isn't Maureen In the Middle of the Night!  
ZAYN: [laughs] Sorry, sorry.  
MAUREEN: [laughs] Now, I've watched that vid of you singing "Love Balloon" about a million times. And no offence to one Harry Styles, but I thought I'd heard the original enough to last me several lifetimes. [laughs] But then you--you just blew me away. It, it sounds like a completely different song!  
ZAYN: Well, thank you.  
MAUREEN: So you and Harry had a bit of dust up earlier this year.  
ZAYN: Just a little one, yeah.  
MAUREEN: And you had a lot to say about his music. So what made you decide to sing his song?  
ZAYN: Well, at first, I thought the lyrics were kind of--well, a bit silly, if I'm being honest. But the more I read them, the more I realised, the song just needed a different touch, you know?  
MAUREEN: Right. Right. And...?  
ZAYN: And...that's officially all I'm allowed to say. [laughs]  
MAUREEN: What? No, go on!  
ZAYN: [laughs] I think I'd get in trouble with my manager. He's a strict one.  
MAUREEN: You'll probably get in trouble with all the girls who've fallen for Harry, too.  
ZAYN: Yeah. They're even stricter. [laughs]

\- 10 December 2010, BBC Radio 2 Interview, Maureen in the Morning, 8:35 AM

 

@OfficialStylersofWales: Watch Harry singing "Attention (Zayn Malik cover)"!!!! youtube.com/watch?v=TvMCpGBgOpLE&feature=related  
12 December 2010, 12.41 PM

 

 

 

#### Track Four. 'Crash Into You' ft. The Foreign Exchange(*)

 

 

 

**From:** 070 2742 7915  
zanyyyy let's go out =) =)

 **Sent from:** 070 2742 7915  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.15 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
sorry,love whos this

 **Sent from:** 079 6654 8500  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.30 PM

 **From:** 070 2742 7915  
='( PERRIEEE!!! I just saw you last month and your already forgot about me??

 **Sent from:** 070 2742 7915  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.31 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
PERRIE hi hi hi, no sorry, I justl ost my contacts, adding you right now. whats this about goin on? :D

 **Sent from:** 079 6654 8500  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.31 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
*out?

 **Sent from:** 079 6654 8500  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.32 PM

 **From:** Perrie Edwards  
On my way to mos(*) come with!!!

 **Sent from:** 070 2742 7915  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.34 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
be ther 15 :) :)

 **Sent from:** 079 6654 8500  
Saturday 12 February 2011 7.36

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
12 February 2011, 7.40 PM

headng 2 minofsound w perrie, takng Clyde nd Martin w me, shd be back rnd 3

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
12 February 2011, 7.41 PM

Take it easy. You've a performance tomm. NO HARD DRUGS. And have Akinboye go with you too.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 

 

#HSAttention#HSAttention#HSAttention#HSAttention

 

 

@grimmers: @HarryStylish Now you've gone and made @anniemacdj(*) cry  
12 February 2011, 8.12 PM

@anniemacdj: @HarryStylish @grimmers boo hooo hoooo  
12 February 2011, 8.12 PM

@HarryStylish: @grimmers @anniemacdj I'm sorry :( What did I do?  
12 February 2011, 8.13 PM

@anniemacdj: @HarryStylish @grimmers You stayed home from your own surprise birthday party!  
12 February 2011, 8.13 PM

@HarryStylish: @anniemacdj @grimmers Do I get any points for still being surprised? We already celebrated my birthday ;)  
12 February 2011, 8.15 PM

@anniemacdj: @HarryStylish @grimmers Aw it's no fun if you're not surprised!  
12 February 2011, 8.16 PM

@grimmers: @HarryStylish @anniemacdj But it's even less fun if you're not here  
12 February 2011, 8.16 PM

@HarryStylish: @grimmers @anniemacdj :) Where are you?  
12 February 2011, 8.18 PM

@grimmers:@HarryStylish Guess ;)  
12 February 2011, 8.19 PM                                                                                

 

 

#HarryMayBeAPrinceButZaynIsTheKING#HarryMayBeAPrinceButZaynIsTheKING#HarryMayBeAPrinceButZaynIsTheKING#HarryMayBeAPrinceButZaynIsTheKING

 

 

 _gade_chantalll_ : SASKA HUGE NEWS                                                                                                                                                                                         4:06:50 AM  
 _gade_chantalll_ : this is so mad                                                                                                                                                                                                  4:06:52 AM  
 _gade_chantalll_ : GUESS who just showed up with a bluddy nose an d sprained wrist rite wen my shift was sposed to end???                                4:06:52 AM

 _iluvyahulya_ :  zayn :'''(                                                                                                                                                                                                                 4:06:59 AM

 _gade_chantalll_ : WOT                                                                                                                                                                                                                  4:07:04 AM  
 _gade_chantalll_ : HOWDI D YOU FIGURE I OUT                                                                                                                                                                         4:07:05 AM

 _iluvyahulya_ : heand harry beat hte shit out of each other at ministry of sound! its all over twitter                                                                              4:07:34 AM  
 _iluvyahulya_ : i cant stop crying                                                                                                                                                                                                  4:07:41 AM

 _gade_chantalll_ : aw saskaa :(                                                                                                                                                                                                      4:07:51 AM

 _iluvyahulya_ : i just                                                                                                                                                                                                                        4:08:10 AM  
 _iluvyahulya_ : i love them both so much                                                                                                                                                                                   4:08:14 AM  
 _iluvyahulya_ : and now i feel like im being force to choose                                                                                                                                                    4:08:20 AM

 _gade_chantalll_ : :(                                                                                                                                                                                                                         4:08:25 AM

 _iluveyahulya_ : ...was he as fit in real life?                                                                                                                                                                                  4:10:00 AM

 _gade_chantalll_ : PROPER                                                                                                                                                                                                             4:10:05 AM  
 _gade_chantalll_ : HE WAS DRIPING BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE AND I STILL WOULD                                                                                                      4:10:13 AM

 _iluveyahulya_ : CHANTIE ETIENNE! u little skank                                                                                                                                                                      4:10:20 AM

 _gade_chantalll_ : no shame! you would too if youw re me                                                                                                                                                     4:10:38 AM

 

 

#GreatBarFightof2011#GreatBarFightof2011#GreatBarFightof2011#GreatBarFightof2011

 

 

@grimmers: .@ZayntheLeek: even more good looking in real life. Unfortunately, still a huge cock. #greatbarfightof2011  
13 February 2011, 12.14 PM  
  
@Perrie_Edwards: @grimmers piss off, you lot threw a drink at him!!! what did you expect a hug???  
13 February 2011, 12.17 PM  
  
@grimmers: .@Perrie_Edwards That would have been nice, yes.  
13 February 2011, 12.18 PM  
  
@SkyLivingOnline: Looks like @ZayntheLeek and @HarryStylish still hate each other. Nice to know some things never change. #gbfo11  
13 February 2011, 3.25 PM

  
[ _Pictured_ : Pop star Harry Styles, sporting aviator glasses, a noticeably swollen jaw, and a neon pink sling, above the caption: Stars! They're Just Like Us! They Get Into Fights]

 

 

 

#### Track Five. 'The Mask' ft. Guy Berryman

 

 

 

I admit I was less than enthusiastic when I heard I would be interviewing Harry Styles and Zayn Malik. I'm a 44 year old lesbian, married 15 years. I put on Dvorak if I'm feeling adventurous. I am quite firmly the opposite of these two's intended demographic. Convinced, however, by my fifteen-year-old son and fifty-five-year-old boss that this was Fate, I surrender to the inevitable. On a windy Tuesday afternoon I stumble into Hole in the Wall 13 minutes late. The first thing I notice is that Harry Styles is sitting on Zayn Malik's lap. The second thing I notice is that Zayn Malik looks like he's about to have an aneurysm. My mood picks up considerably. Perhaps it's just the schadenfreude kicking in. I apologise hastily, cite bad traffic, and sit down.

'The weather's been really awful,' agrees Zayn vaguely, with an intent glance at my jacket that I will describe in great detail to my son later on. Harry begins to nuzzle Zayn's neck. Zayn forces a smile. I begin to realise that this will be very entertaining indeed. The interview begins.

 _Featured Magazine_ : So what made you two decide to work together?

 _Zayn Malik_ : We just figured, you know, why not set aside our differences? We've so many young fans, and, and, uh--

The interview stops. The real story may be here, anyway. The food's arrived. Zayn's ordered eggs, hot sauce and some liquid more water than tea. Harry's ordered a fruit salad. (With all the rumours swirling about his sexuality, perhaps he's being clever. Then again, perhaps he just likes clementines.) Zayn tries to push Harry off his lap. Harry does not prove amenable to this suggestion. He instead wraps a hand around Zayn's wrist. If Zayn's expression is anything to go by, this would be the wrist Harry near mangled a month ago.

From behind the counter, the waiters probably think themselves competent whisperers.

'Get off,' Zayn says, smiling aggressively. 'I want to eat.'

Harry smiles at me and begins to comb Zayn's famously elaborate hairstyle into messy little tufts. I wonder aloud if they're acting as if they like each other, to underplay last month's brutal bar fight? Zayn shakes his head as if it it pains him. (It very may well, at that. I'm told Harry has a wicked right swing.)

'Of course we're not acting,' chides Harry. 'That would be dishonest.' He gives me a smile filled with self-satisfied bullshittery. I am beginning to see his appeal. I ask them what they've realised about each other, as a result of their ongoing collaboration? Harry cuddles up against Zayn in a way that is, objectively speaking, adorable. The whispers reach a crescendo. 'One of my favourite things about Zayn--or Zee-Zee, as I call him--is how little he is. He looks so tall on the screen but he's actually quite short.' Grinning coyly, he grabs Zayn's head into a serious headlock.

Zayn doesn't look as if he's thinking of his young fans at the moment.

\- Excerpt, _Featured Magazine_ , "All's Fair In Love & War: The Fascinatingly Forced Homosocial and Hypercompetitive Relationship of Harry Styles and Zayn Malik," Mulissa Fakhir, March 2011

 

 

#ZeeZee#ZeeZee#ZeeZee#ZeeZee#ZeeZee

 

 

 _thommie g_ says – (reply to this)

if you watch the video, you can tell harry's is unhappy when zayn touches him. look closely at him face when zayn moves closer. i read body language for a living and you can absolutly tell that harry is unhappy here.their have also been other situations when zayn is unhappy or harry is unahppy.if u look at the vid of them on the red carpet at the saturn awards.zayn said harry was fit. harry looked really uncomfortable and zayn didnt seem to care.they def do not like each other

\- perezhilton.com/2011-04-02-yum-harry-and-zayn-eating-together-benitos-hat

 

@StylettoHeels: #StoptheInZaynity Petition To Dissolve Harry Styles's and Zayn Malik's Working Relationship...bit.ly/hG53l #FightTerrorism #PoorHarry  
4 March 2011, 1.14 PM

@PrinceHarry4Everrr: @ZayntheLeek why don't you go home you p*** terrorist!! #fightterrorism #stoptheinzaynity  
5 March 2011, 8.33 PM

@TEAMHARRY5TYLES: @ZayntheLeek BLOW YOURSELF UP TERRORIST  
6 March 2011, 12.19 PM

@itsjenniee: @ZayntheLeek why dont u stop trying to be black you s***n***** #gohometerrorist  
7 March 2011, 10.35 AM

@ZayntheLeek: The reason i don't tweet as much as i use to, is because I'm sick of all the useless opinions and hate that i get daily goodbye twitter :) (*)  
8 March 2011, 9.39 AM

@HarryStylish: Aww #ComeBackZayn!!  
8 March 2011, 9.48 AM

 

 

#ComeBackZayn#ComeBackZayn#ComeBackZayn#ComeBackZayn

 

 

**From:** Zayn Malik  
tell mona I'm meeting bex at 9

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.31 PM

 **From:** 077 3485 0709  
Sorry, who's this? :)

 **Sent from:** 077 3485 0709  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.32 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
zayn, new number. tell mona I'm meeting bex at 9

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.34 PM

 **From:** 077 3485 0709  
Tell her yourself

 **Sent from:** 077 3485 0709  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.40 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
why are you such a prick? I lost my contacts. Just tell her

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.41 PM

 **From:** Harry Styles  
You have my number memorised? Aww zz, I didn't know you cared :)

 **Sent from:** 077 3845 0709  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.43 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
Stop messing about and just tell mona ffs

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.45 PM

 **From:** Harry Styles  
She said she needs you here asap, soz

 **Sent from:** 077 3845 0709  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 6.55 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
??? just give me her number then. mgmt's been planning this for weeks

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 7.00 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
styles

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 7.10 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
wtf

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011 7.12 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
give me her fucking number

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011. 7.23 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
the fuck is wrong with you, mona didnt say any of that you little lying fuck

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday 13 March 2011. 9.33 PM

@ZayntheLeek: heyyy guys Harry's not picking up. Want to help me out? 077 3485 0709 thanksss xx  
13 March 2011, 9.40 PM

 **From:** 077 5907 9460  
Thanks for that. I needed a new mobile anyway  
here's mona's number 020 7295 8963  
she wants to have a talk with you

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Wednesday 13 March 11.13 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
thanks for getting back to me so quickly you stupid fuck

 **Sent from:** 079 6654 8500  
Wednesday 13 March 2011, 11.15 PM

 **From:** Fuckface  
my mobile died you self-involved tw*t

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Wednesday 13 March 2011, 11.33 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
shite apology. go fuck yourself

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday, 13 March 2011, 11.33 PM

 **From:** Bex  
did you give my Number out?

 **Sent from:** 070 3650 3183  
Wednesday 13 March 2011, 11.46 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
? no. did u get my other texts?

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Wednesday, 13 March 2011, 11.47 PM

 **From:** Bex  
don't worry about it, love, Its fine :^)  
nae just wants us to put in an appearance at Shoreditch later this week.  
you sure you didnt Give my number to harry on accident?

 **Sent from:** 070 3650 3183  
Wednesday, 13 March 2011, 11.50 PM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
ok.  
why would i give him ur number? did he call u?

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Thursday, 14 March 2011, 12.01 AM

 **From:** Bex  
yes, Actually. he apologised for ruining our evening  
and he promised he Wouldn't do anything like  
that again. he was really Very sweet :^)

 **Sent from:** 070 3650 3183  
Thursday, 14 March 2011, 12.03 AM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
he's such a fucking wanker swear to god

 **Sent from:** 077 7214 4579  
Thursday, 14 March 2011, 12.10 AM

 

 

#HSZMComeToThailand#HSZMComeToThailand#HSZMComeToThailand#HSZMComeToThailand

 

 

@MalikAndStylesOfficial: Harry and Zayn Lipsync Rihanna's "Only Girl In The World" bit.ly/Gh6Cd  
Friday, 15 March 2011, 2.16 PM

 

These two famous lads have had an history of violence. Lately, however, they've been acting (terribly, might we add) as if they're the greatest of friends. This is all part of a hasty arrangement (#blamemanagement, indeed) to downplay the very public bar brawl that happened a couple months ago. Sources tell us that although they'll talk about their music in front of the camera, they normally can't even stand to be in the same room. One of them was heard calling the other a 'miserable tw*t (*).' How long can they keep this up? Management is hoping to pull at least one tour out of them, so it may be a while yet.

 **Our guesses** : Elton John and Madonner OR Harry Styles and Zayn Malik

\- naffoffgossip.co.uk, "Blind Items 13/3/2011 - 20/3/2011"

 

"[Lovebirds Zayn Malik and X Factor Finalist Rebecca Ferguson] joined Tinie Tempah at a party the rapper hosted in London members' club Shoreditch House. It celebrated the launch of Tinie's Disturbing London X Nike Blazer trainers. Only 160 pairs were made - and handed out in a London treasure hunt on Thursday."

\- thesun.co.uk, "[Zayn Malik and Rebecca Ferguson] spotted at launch party hosted by Tinie Tempah"(*), Gordon Smart (*), Showbiz Editor, 19th March 2011

 

 

#ZaynTheTerrorist#ZaynTheTerrorist#ZaynTheTerrorist#ZaynTheTerrorist

 

 

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.40 AM

mar k

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.42 AM

MARK

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.45 AM

mark if uu dont answerm gonna to tl lace about wut phanned in

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.45 AM

PHEONIX

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.47 AM

pleas

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.49 AM

You're sloshed. Have a water and go to SLEEP.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.50 AM

mark dont knw i f can do ths

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 3.50 AM

hate him so fuc k he sartd it all y r ppl mad at ME

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
6 April 2011, 4.15 AM

Look you little prick

None of this wouldve happened if you hadnt gotten so DEFENSIVE because he didnt know who you were.  
None of this wouldve happened if you didnt use TWITTER to insult wellknown CELEBRITIES.  
None of this wouldve happened if you just left WELL ENOUGH ALONE.  
Are you really surprised people think youre the bully and hes the poor sweet victim?

And even if he set you on fire after you gave him endless praise  
(which is NOT WHAT HAPPENED so I dont know why youre acting like a TOTAL VICTIM)  
Zayn. youre OLDER, youre MUSLIM and you sing BLACK music.  
You CANT win against Britains Little Brother. no matter how many girls fancy you. Know when to fold.

Now GO. TO. SLEEP. Youve sound check in FOURHOURS.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 

 

 

#### Track Six. 'Make Nice' ft. Abel Tasfaye(*)

 

 

 

Harry: [mutter] Move over, Zayn.  
Zayn: [mutter] Stop--  
Harry: [mutter] Move--  
Zayn: [mutter] Stop crowding me.  
Harry: [mutter] Alright, well, move over, then.  
Zayn: [move over] Fine. [He either say "Obnoxious" here or "Oh, fuck this"]  
Harry: Hi, hi, hi! [waving]  
Zayn: Hey, vashappnin'! [waving]  
Harry: How's everyone doing?  
Zayn: [fixe hair, adjusts camera]  
Harry: Me and Zayn are just hanging out, taking a break. We've been in the studio for almost three hours.  
Zayn: [fixe hair, lol #vainmalik] Tree ow-wuhz, mon.  
Harry: [rolls eyes l m a o] So we thought we'd answer some of your questions.  
Zayn: Okay, so user @Zayn_in_my_ass-- [snorts]  
Harry: Lovely. User @Zayn_in_my_ass asks, "Zayn, Harry has a nickname for you. What's your nickname for him?" [looks Zayn] Zayn?  
Zayn: Uh, I can't say. It's, it's too embarrassing.  
Harry: Oh, come on, ZeeZee, I can handle it.  
Zayn: Nah, bro. I've too much respect for your feelings to put you through that.  
Harry: Aw. Sorry, @Zayn_in_my_ass, I guess he's just shy. [smiles]  
Zayn: [frowns] Alright, the next question comes from user @princess--@princesastyleza. She--  
Harry: Or he.  
Zayn: [looks Harry] What do you mean 'he,' it says 'princesa'.  
Harry: [looks Zayn] Some boys want to be princesas.  
Zayn: [mutter, looks away] You're full of it.  
Harry: [smiles] I think we should respect that instead of jumping to conclusions.  
Zayn: Fine. She--or he--wants to know: "Can we hear some of your new music?"  
Harry: Oooh. Good question. [looks Zayn]  
Zayn: I don't think we're allowed?  
Harry: Yeah.  
Zayn: Sorry, guys. We can't even tell you the titles. [puppy face, aww]  
Harry: [looks Zayn] Well, what about "Torn(*)"? We're not using it, let's do a bit of "Torn".  
Zayn: [frown] Ehhh...  
Harry: C'mooon, ZeeZee. We can't just let @princesastyleza down. [puppy face, awwww]  
Zayn: [rolls eyes, so cute] Fine, whatever.  
Harry: [smiles, pumps the fist] Yusss!  
Zayn: [He either say "Okay now" here or "Oh, key note"] ah-1, ah-2, ah-1, 2, 3, 4--  
Harry: [singing] I thought I saw a girl brought to life./She was warm, she came around,/she was dignified./She showed me what it was to cry.  
Zayn: [singing] You couldn't b-e-e that girl I ado-o-red/You do-o-n't seem to kno-o-w--  
Harry: Cool it on those runs, mate.  
Zayn: [glares, singing] --or seem to ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-are--  
Harry: [rolls eyes]  
Zayn: [winks] --What your heart is for./But I don't know her anymorrre.  
Harry: [singing] There's nothing left! I used to cry./My conversation has run dry./And that's what's going onnn./Nothing's fine! I'm torn.  
Zayn: [harmonising] Ooooooh--  
Harry: [singing] I'm all out of faith./This is how I feel:/I'm cold and I am shamed/Lying naked on the floor.  
Zayn: [singing] Illusion never cha-a-nged/Into something real./I'm wide awake and I-I can see/The perfect sky is to-o-orn.  
Harry/Zayn: [harmonising] You're a little late, I'm already to-o-o-o-o-orn./I'm already torn! [pause, look each other]  
Zayn: [singing] There's nothing left--  
Harry: [singing] I used to cry--  
Zayn: [singing, grinning] Inspiration has run dry--  
Harry: [singing, shuts eyes] That's what's going oooon. Nothing's fine! I'm tornnn.  
Zayn: [singing] I'm already, I'm already, I'm already to-o-orn. Ohh-hhh.  
Harry/Zayn: [harmonising] I'm alread-y-y-y...torn.  
Harry/Zayn: [look each other because even though they bikker and fight, at the end, of the day they really love each other :')]  
Harry: [ruffles Zayn's hair] Alright, so that one was for you, @princesastyleza. Don't say we never did anything for you. [smiles]  
Zayn: [scowls, fixe hair] ...

\- "10/4/11 Live Twitcam Subtítulos (Made Rebloggable By Request)," zarryfãnclubebrasil.tumblr.com, transcribed by j0-almeida, commentary translated by carolenadaassunção54  
(via mariaposa)

 

@laliannehavas: In Sheffield, listening to "Torn" on repeat. Officially obsessed.  
12 May 2011, 10.13 PM

@Youtube: {LIVE NOW} @Malik&StylesOfficial performing "Torn". Watch! goo.gl/k85Wq  
13 May 2011, 7.43 AM

@grimmers: .@HarryStylish just saw you on the tellehhh (*). when can you come out?  
15 May 2011, 6.16 PM

@HarryStylish: .@grimmers Not tonight. The missus wouldn't like it, sorry @ZayntheLeek  
15 May 2011, 6.20 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish dont drag, me into this. @grimmers we get out of studio in an hour  
15 May 2011, 6.23 PM

@HarryStylish: .@ZayntheLeek Promise you won't be cross with me? xx  
15 May 2011, 6.25 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish .....yes. just get back in here, mona thinks youve a stomach virus  
15 May 2011, 6.26 PM

@grimmers: .@HarryStylish @ZayntheLeek how cloyingly domestic  
15 May 2011, 6.29 PM

@HarryStylish: .@grimmers @ZayntheLeek ISn't it though? xxx  
15 May 2011, 6.30 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @grimmers not even remotely :D  
15 May 2011, 6.32 PM

@HarryStylish: @ZayntheLeek :'(  
15 May 2011, 6.34 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish lol  
15 May 2011, 6.34 PM

 

 

#CourageToBeCloying#CourageToBeCloying#CourageToBeCloying#CourageToBeCloying

 

 

@HarryStylish: Can't sleep when you're gone, waiting here all alone, guess i'm just restttlesss xx  
20 May 2011, 12.15 AM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish how bored r u?  
20 May 2011, 12.30 AM

@HarryStylish: @ZayntheLeek VERY, come entertain me  
20 May 2011, 12.32 AM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish bit busy at the mo :)  
20 May 2011, 12.38 AM

@HarryStylish: @ZayntheLeek ughhh how borin  
20 May 2011, 12.40 AM

@RealPr1nceHarry: @HarryStylish You listen to Estelle??? "Restless" is my favourite song of hers. Please answer its my bday!  
20 May 2011, 12.42 AM

@HarryStylish: @RealPr1nceHarry you should hear @ZayntheLeek sing it xx  
20 May 2011, 12.43 AM

 

 

#HarryIsRestlessForZayn#HarryIsRestlessForZayn#HarryIsRestlessForZayn#HarryIsRestlessForZayn

 

 

NG: Alright, then, here we go.  
HS: 'Kay.  
NG: I'm scrolling.  
HS: ...  
NG: Scrolling.  
HS: ...  
NG: Scrolling, scrolling, scrolling--  
HS: Alright, stop.  
NG:...Ah, would you look at that.  
HS: Who is it?  
NG: Zayn Malik--  
HS: Ugh! [laughs]  
NG: --your better half.  
HS: [laughs]  
NG: Call or--  
HS: Delete. [laughs]  
NG: [laughs] What, really?  
HS: Nah, give it here.  
NG: [whispers] Tell him -- tell him you're in love with him. That'd be a laugh.  
HS: [whispers] How thrilled he would be.  
NG: Tell him--  
HS: [whispers] Sh, sh, it's ringing, it's ringing--  
ZM: [rustling] 'lo?  
HS: Hullo, Zayn?  
ZM: [groans] Harry?  
HS: Yeah, Zayn?  
ZM: [rustling] It's 3 o'clock in the fucking morning. What you want?  
HS: Sorry to call like this. Were you sleeping?  
ZM: Course I was sleeping, what else would I--why're you calling? I'll not be driving to Tamworth again, don't even bother asking.  
NG: [whispers] Tamworth?  
HS: [stifled laughter] No, no, it's nothing like that. I just wanted to--talk to you.  
ZM: [flatly] 3 o'clock in the morning 'nd you want to talk to me.  
HS: Well. It's a 3 o'clock in the morning kind of talk.  
NG: [stifled laughter]  
ZM: ...Shouldn't you be calling Grimmy instead? [yawns]  
NG: [laughs]  
ZM: What?  
HS: Nothing, just [coughs] clearing my throat.  
ZM: Aren't you sick? Go to sleep.  
HS: Right, no, I'll go to bed soon. I just have to tell you something first.  
ZM: [rustling] It can't wait?  
HS: No, it's -- it's urgent, a bit.  
ZM: [sighs] What is it?  
HS: I was thinking -- you know. After spending all this time alone with you, going all these places for promotion and whatnot I, I really think we have a lot in common--  
ZM: [unintelligible] mental.  
NG: [stifled laughter]  
HS: [stifled laughter] And -- and yesterday I couldn't stop looking at you in that Big Bird shirt--and I think--  
ZM: [chuckles]  
HS: I think I might be in love with you.  
ZM: [laughs]  
HS: [laughs] Mate, you're, you're breaking my heart here.  
ZM: [laughs harder]  
HS: [laughs] That was a very-- tender confession.  
ZM: [laughs] You're so full of shite.  
NG: [laughs]  
ZM: Oh, God. [laughs] Is that Grimmy?  
HS: [laughs] Nonono, that was me. I was just [coughs]. Coughing.  
ZM: [laughs] Yeahhh. You really should rest up. You're starting to sound like Grimmy. No one wants that.  
NG: [stifled laughter] Thanks for the advice, Zayn. I really should take better care of my voice.  
HS: [laughs harder]  
ZM: [laughs] Yeah, bro. See you in a bit. [hangs up]

\- Transcript Excerpt, "Call or Delete with Harry Styles," BBC Radio 1, 27 May 2011

**From:** Zayn Malik  
zayn, new #

 **Sent from:** 077 6874 5128  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 12.46 AM

 **From:** Princesa  
You lost your mobile again?  
You might have a condition

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 12.48 AM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
possibly

 **Sent from:** 077 6874 5128  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 12.50 AM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
rdy fr nxt week?

 **Sent from:** 077 6874 5128  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 12.56 AM

 **From:** Princesa  
Bit nervous

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 12.59 AM

 **From:** Princesa  
Ok, a lot nervous, actually

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 1.15 AM

 **From:** Zayn Malik  
Listen the only thing you can do is try your hardest, the rest is out of our hands

 **Sent from:** 077 6874 5128  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 1.23 AM

@HarryStylish: "The only thing you can do is try your hardest. The rest is out of our hands." - @ZayntheLeek Coooollll  
Sunday, 29 May 2011, 1.30 AM

 

 

 

#### Track Seven. 'Found My Way'

 

 

 

@Billboard: Malik&Styles's "Dark Room//Love Balloon" debuts at No. 1 on Billboard's Hot 100, Over 800K sold blbrd.co/Jyvc9d  
5 June 2011, 9.15 AM

Rating: 4.3 out of 5 Stars  
Featured: The Foreign Exchange, Muhsinah, How To Dress Well, Guy Berryman (of Coldplay), Abel Tasfaye (aka The Weeknd), Gary Clark Jr, Corinne Bailey Rae  
Best Song: The flawlessly covered 'Restless'  
Best Lyrics: 'Beneath': 'I wear masks of love and deceit/God knows the things I can't repeat/But if they knew, if they knew/what your sigh tastes like/I know they'd hide their pain, too.'  
Best Vocals: 'Restless' for Zayn, 'And Down We Go' for Harry  
Highlights: 'No Good Deed', 'Don't', 'Restless', 'Beneath', 'Crash Into You'  
Missteps: 'Letting So' feels a bit lodged in there. Vocals are too buried in 'Pieces of You'. Some oversinging in 'Make Nice'.  
Did You Know That? 'Restless' was originally written for Zayn. His management eventually passed it on to Estelle.  
Now You Know! The high note Harry hits in 'Letting So' was unplanned.  
Bottom Line: An unusually intimate affair from the Duo That Almost Didn't, _Dark Room//Love Balloon_ successfully synthesises the elements which make Zayn Malik and Harry Styles each unique, and -- with the help of smooth minimalistic breakdowns, slick bass arrangements, and vocals which shift easily between airy and rough-edged -- combines them into something truly spectacular.

\- mindthemusic.co.uk, "Malik&Styles, Rihanna, The Wanted and more," Jacinta Flores-Cho, 10 June 2011

 

Professional ratings for _Dark Room//Love Balloon_

 **Source**                **Rating**  
 _AllMusic_                  5/5 stars  
 _Billboard_                 Positive  
 _Entertainment Weekly_ A-  
 _Daily Star_                  9/10  
 _Digital Spy_               5/5 stars  
 _The Independent_     4/5 stars  
 _MSN Music_              5/5 stars  
 _PopMatters_                9/10  
 _Rolling Stone_          3.5/5 stars  
 _USA Today_              4/4 stars

\- en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dark_Room_Love_Balloon_(Malik%26Styles_album). Page last modified 12 June 2011 at 21:10

 

@iluvhettiarachchi: 'You can't know/that you're never alone/'Cus when everyone's above/You're stuck below' 'Don't' is the Best Song of the Year, no doubt #drlb #mands  
13 June 2011, 3.26 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @iluvhettiarachchi What good taste u have ;)  
13 June 2011, 3.30 PM

@HarryStylish: @iluvhettiarachchi I only had a couple of lines in that song :'(  
13 June 2011, 3.35 PM

@iluvhettiarachchi: Did Zayn Malik and Harry Styles just tweet me. Is this a dream. What is life. Who am I.  
13 June 2011, 3.35 PM

@iluvhettiarachchi: @HarryStylish @ZayntheLeek The balance is perfect! It feels like the opposite of "And Down We Go" which is v upbeat and has a lot more layers and fewer lines for...  
13 June 2011, 3.37 PM

@ZayntheLeek: @iluvhettiarachchi ur really observant! Thanks for listening, proud to have fans like u :) :) :)  
13 June 2011, 3.44 PM

@HarryStylish: RT @iluvhettiarachchi ur really observant! Thanks for listening, proud to have fans like u :) :) :)  
13 June 2011, 3.46 PM

@iluvhettiarachchi: dead  
13 June 2011, 3.47 PM

 

"She might have insisted that she was happier than ever in her relationship last month, but Rebecca Ferguson has split with Zayn Malik. [The stars] shocked fans by confirming their love for each other earlier this year, but after both finding success in the music business, they decided to part for the sake of their careers. Rebecca proved she’s not one to stay at home and grieve though, and instead threw on a little black dress to hit the town last night."

\- dailymail.co.uk, "Newly single Rebecca Ferguson goes clubbing after splitting with Zayn Malik(*)" , Daily Mail Reporter, 24 July 2011 5.15 AM (*)

 

@HarryStylish: @ZayntheLeek i.imgur.com/JqhXo.gif u party animal u  
27 July 2011, 12.19 AM

@ZayntheLeek: @HarryStylish shut up i wuz tired lol  
27 July 2011, 7.21 AM

 

  
**Anjula Kavindu** OMFG THIS IS KILLING ME  
03:15 AM 29 July 2011 - (like) (comment)

  
**Juanita Plessy** ARE YOU LOOKING AT THOSE NEW PICS OF ZAYN AND HARRY  
03:20 AM 29 July 2011 - 3 likes (like)

  
**Anjula Kavindu** I WAS BORN LOOKING AT THOSE NEW PICS OF ZAYN AND HARRY ;_; HOW CAN THEY BE SO PRESH AND IN LOVEE UGHH  
03:21 AM 29 July 2011 - 1 like (like)

  
**Diamond D. Kavindu** is there something wronghoney.why are you girls yelling.did something happen to those boys you like.if so i am very sorry to hear that.maybe you will now have more time to focus on your schoolwork.also i need to know what your doing this weekend.call me - DIAMOND KAVINDU  
03:25 AM 29 July 2011 - (like)

  
**Anjula Kavindu** omg mom  
03:29 AM 29 July 2011 - (like)

 

NAWFAL KHAILI (*): So here is another question from your fans: what do you find the most--most irritating about each other?  
HARRY: His cheekbones. Just look at em.  
ZAYN: [laughs]  
HARRY: He's like a statue. A pretty statue.  
ZAYN: [laughs]  
NAWFAL: That is not very bad. Better than the opposite--  
ZAYN: Being unlike a statue? [laughs]  
HARRY: [scoffs]  
NAWFAL: [laughs]  
HARRY: Think about if you had to stand next to him all the time. "Bradford bad boy Zayn Malik was looking fit as usual last night at the grand opening for Lebard Desca. Oh, and Harry Styles was there, too, singing or something."  
NAWFAL: [laughs]  
ZAYN: [laughs] Nah, you get mobbed more than me, bro. You're pretty fit yourself.  
HARRY: Ahhh.  
NAWFAL: And Zayn? What is it you think? The most irritating thing.  
ZAYN: Harold here makes me feel like a bad son. He calls his mum literally every day--  
HARRY: Heyyyyyy.  
NAWFAL: Every day? My mother only takes my calls during Eid. [laughs] You are a good son to call your mother every day.  
HARRY: Not evvvery day--  
ZAYN: No, every day! I call my mum twice a week and I'll be really vague. She'll say "So what've you been up to?" And I'll say, "Oh, me and Harry went to a thing, sang one of our songs." And then she'll tell me what she's been doing and how my sisters and my dad have been. And that's it! But Harry here--he'll say--  
HARRY: No, I--[laughs]  
ZAYN: "So then we took a right turn at Hamsfield Ave. This was at 16.13 exactly and it took us--" [laughs] "--it, it took us 14 minutes and 27 seconds to get to the hall. At this point, I noticed my collar had a stain 3 inches in diameter on it--" [laughs] He gets really involved, detailed like.  
NAWFAL: [laughs]  
HARRY: [laughs]  
ZAYN: Also...he snores.  
HARRY: Heyyyyy, you can't do two. He said the most irritating thing, you can't do two!  
ZAYN: Well, both keep me up at night, doubting my--my place in life. So. [laughs]  
NAWFAL: [laughs]  
HARRY: [laughs] Thanks, that's--that's real nice.

\- Transcript Excerpt, Cap Radio (*) Interview, "Harry Styles et Zayn Malik dans Moroc," 27 July 2011

 

 

#PrettyFitYourself#PrettyFitYourself#PrettyFitYourself#PrettyFitYourself

 

 

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
30 July 2011, 4.15 PM

Cool it on the flirting.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
30 July 2011, 4.20 PM

u were the one who told me to flirt?

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
30 July 2011, 4.24 PM

Yes but not for a bloody GQ spread  
Now that youre unattached people might think that youre gay

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
30 July 2011, 4.33 PM

&that'd b bad?  
harry's been unattached ths whole time

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

 **From:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
30 July 2011, 4.35 PM

It wouldnt be as bad for HIM; it would be worse for YOU  
You cant pull a Frank Ocean in the middle of promoting for an album  
People will just assume youre stunting and a good chunk of your fans will lose interest  
or theyll actually compare you to Frank Ocean!!!  
Its just not good for business. So for now cool it on the PDA.  
You want them wondering, not actually believing.

 _Sent from my Blackberry_.

 **From:** zayn.malik@virginrecords.co.uk  
 **To:** mark.delnegro@virginrecords.co.uk  
30 July 2011, 4.40 PM

oh. k.

 _Sent from my iPhone_.

_Spotted!_ Zayn Malik and Blue Naven (aka Maria Jones-Murphy) at a Jay-Z concert. The two were observed doing some serious dancing. "They were going at it pretty hot and heavy," a source informs us. "People were taking pictures but they didn't seem to care. They didn't even stay for the last couple of songs." Still, a rep for Zayn Malik insists that the two are "just friends." We've never heard that one before...

(source)

\- "#Management Strikes Again," 247bluenaven.livejournal.com, 10 August 2011

**From:** Princesa

come to my room

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.45 PM

 

 **From:** Zayn Malik

didnt ur mum teach you any manners? lol

 **Sent from:** 077 1666 5209  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.47 PM

 

 **From:** Princesa

come to my room

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.47 PM

 

 **From:** Zayn Malik

dnt really feel like moving rn bro. worn out

 **Sent from:** 077 1666 5209  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.51 PM

 

 **From:** Princesa

no you're not. cmere

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.51 PM

 

 **From:** Zayn Malik

u come here

 **Sent from:** 077 1666 5209  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.56 PM

 

 **From:** Princesa

zayn

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 10.56 PM

 

 **From:** Zayn Malik

oh my god ur so annoying fine im com ing,  
let me just take a shower first

 **Sent from:** 077 1666 5209  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 11.01 PM

 

 **From:** Princesa

:)

 **Sent from:** 077 5907 9460  
Thursday, 11 August 2011, 11.02 PM

 

 

_YOU'Re KILLING ME ZARRY_ : a masterpost  
okay so this doesn't have much commentary because just doing this much actually made me cry a little bit???? shut up i'm not crying you're crying hahahahrhsfijgiodvkjfksk oh god  
So you remember (this) interview, where Harry said "Zayn has this bad boy image but he's actually quite cute"?  
And remember (these) balcony pics from last month where they were sharing a joint?  
And remember when Zayn (said) Harry helps him get to sleep?  
And remember when they were being interviewed by that German model who kept flirting with Zayn and Harry's face looked like (this) the entire time?  
And remember when they were performing in front of the Queen and Harry's hands were shaking so Zayn mouthed (this) to make him smile?  
And remember when Harry (fell asleep) on Zayn's shoulder in that AussieTV interview?  
And remember (this hug)?  
And remember when Zayn unzipped Harry's jacket (with his teeth)?  
And remember when Zayn bought Harry a (motorcycle)?  
And remember (all) (those) (walks) (of) (shame) in each others' clothing?  
And  
oh yeah  
remember when THEY ACTUALLY (KISSED)?  
ahhahahh don't mind me, just flinging myself into the face of the sun

 

496. _choprachanda reblogged this from harry-malicksss and added_ :  
"Shoutout to the tinhats up in this fandom, ya'll are cray..."

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> You may ask: "Didn't Harry and Nick meet in 2011? Weren't iPhones bigger than Blackberries by 2010? Didn't Lianne La Havas perform in Sheffield for the first time in October 2011? Isn't Salut, Bonjour! more for the older crowd? Wasn't it Harry who put in an appearance at Tinie Tempah's 2012 launch party? Doesn't Cap Radio only broadcast in Berber and Arabic? Didn't Nick Grimshaw tweet "just saw you on the tellehhh" @Lianne La Havas? Didn't Harry play Call or Delete in 2012? Didn't Zayn deactivate his Twitter in 2012? Didn't Frank Ocean 'come out' in 2012? etc." Short answer: yes.


End file.
